Aspirations and Inspirations

Hey guys! 2014 keeps getting better for me ( I hope it goes the same for everyone else! ) If things ain't going your way so far, don't worry! We are only halfway through the first month of the year! I am sure many opportunities are coming up your way! So keep your heads up!

So why did I say that 2014 keeps getting better is because ...... of my O level results! YES it's finally out ( on Monday )! Sorry I am kind of slow in posting because I am currently working, but today is my off day, so I finally have the time to do some blogging!! My results are eligible for the course that I have always wanted ( for the past 2 years )!! I am so HAPPYYYYYYY!!!! Oh right, I forgot to say, the course is none other than mass communication! I aspire to open up my own fashion magazine because FASHION IS MY PASSION! I would like to be a fashion journalist and travel around the world writing about the things that I am most passionate about! So getting into mass communication is one step closer to my dreams! Now O levels are nothing to me, like the subjects I took ( triple science ), yeah sure they gave me lots of knowledge to our human body but I figured out that science isn't what I want to pursue anymore. I used to want to be a teacher, then an interior designer, then an architect, then a marine biologist, then a guinea... As you can tell I was a very fickle minded person. One moment I aspire to be this and the next I aspire to be that. However, I made up my mind that I am serious about fashion. I have been sticking to my dreams for the past 2-3 years, I can say that is the longest time I have been serious about my aspirations. Fashion never fails to bore me. I feel that there is always something special in every piece of clothing I saw. I am always fascinated by what material is used to make each clothing. Especially here at ParcoNextNext where I get to see the works of local designers, the designs and materials are really really different from your common high street brands. Always during my free time ( 90% of my working time ), I would just walk around the shop aimlessly, looking at the clothes and touching them. Wondering what the designers were thinking while designing all these wonderful pieces. Some designs may be somewhat similar, but the thought processing and the material the designers use for each clothing is different. If you are thinking why not be a fashion designer, I have thought of being that too! But i just cannot draw.... See, why I was such a fickle minded person was that there was always that one thing that made me feel intimidated and so gave up on it. But you should NEVER GIVE UP! For example, I wanted to be a model so badly, but because of my height, I am sure I can never be one. I gave up on that dream once but deep inside, I hope that one day I may emerge as an extra petite model as long as I keep believing. Being a model now is just a dream, if I ever get to be one, I would say it's a bonus in life. I should focus on the things that I am serious about and achieving them, the other dreams may come true if they are meant to be, so I won't have high hopes on them.

Since now my grades are eligible for the course that I want, I am NOT letting this chance slip past me. So the option of going to a junior college is a straight NO. I don't want to have any more regrets for choosing the wrong subjects. I know my parents wanted me to enter a junior college, then to a local university and be a doctor or a teacher. But that is not my interest at all, maybe used to be but not NOW. I am clear of what I want so nothing is going to stop me. Besides that path is too common for many Singaporeans. I just want to be different and go for something that I am really passionate about. I am aware that the fashion industry in Singapore is not very ( how should I put it? ) sustainable as compared to the science industry. Passion is nothing compared to money. I know my parents' next line, ' you are still young, you don't know how hard it is to survive without money, cost of living is very high here....blah blah blah...'. Okay I get it! But if I work hard, I am sure I am able to survive a decent living. Besides I will definitely venture abroad, who knows if I will be migrating?

For now, I am young and fearless. Know what you love and go for it! Life is not supposed to be smooth sailing, if it is, how boring is that? -.- Sometimes I dream of FAILING ( I know! Which person dreams of failing?!?!?!?! ) , and then pick myself up and do MUCH BETTER if i didn't fail at all. In the end, you will realize that everything was worthwhile in the process.

And I really love this quote a lot, which is ' work hard in silence let success make the noise '. Actually last year was a battle for me. I can say it was my worst year throughout my whole life. I did work hard figuring out who I was, overcoming my fears and handling my feelings all by myself. Nobody knew what I was going through, I was depressed. It was a tough one but I made it through with countless of lessons learnt and a stronger me. And my success was to get into the course that I always wanted. This will be my history and it made me have another aspiration! Which is to write a book and inspire others about my struggles and not giving up because I did it! See, not all downs are bad!

So that's all I have to say, I am not sure what my post title should be hmmm...another ranting? xD
Thanks for reading! Byeeee~

Xoxo,
Cheryl

My lost baggage from Bangkok

Hey guys! I know I haven't talk much about my recent Bangkok trip is because I didn't want to be reminded of my lost baggage which consists of MOSTLY MY NEW CLOTHES. Imagine buying a pile of clothes, the hours spent finding all of them and anticipating to wear them out. But with just a blink of an eye, they are all gone! I was too tired to be angry when I lost my baggage at the airport. So I didn't grumble much about it, but I had this good feeling that my baggage was going to be found. AND IT DID! I was sleeping so soundly today because I have NO SCHOOL ( while all my juniors have ) and my sister told me to wake up by 11 am because the delivery man will be here to deliver my baggage. The man was late by more than an hour. I was getting impatient....so I went to watch The Carrie Diaries to distract myself. Halfway through the show, he finally showed at my doorstep. There he was carrying my lost baggage. I was so happy, no words can describe how I felt! Thank god there was nothing less in my baggage, it arrived back in one piece with nothing missing! Even the roll of toilet paper was still inside! Everyone was saying I couldn't retrieve my baggage because it has been more than a week and still no news about it. Finally the person from scoot called my mom to say they had found it!

My sister was so mad that night at the airport. We could lose all the snacks that we bought but NOT this baggage! We were blaming everyone else except ourselves. I know that when we are mad, we become unreasonable and blame others. Everyone was in bad mood that night because it was already 12 midnight and we were all exhausted. I still had to work the next day. The next morning, things cooled down a bit and I talked to my sister. After talking so much, we realized blaming others was so ridiculous. We just went on and on on who to blame. I think things just happen, just not our luck that night. At least we were back home safely. And in the end, still managed to retrieve it after more than a week.

The worst feeling of losing my baggage was that I bought many vintage clothes from Bangkok ( I am recently obsessed with vintage style!!! ) and they were all SO CHEAP! Only 100 baht for each blouse?!?! That's like about SGD 4 ! I was at The Editor's Market 2 days ago and compared the prices, one vintage blouse is $29!! Nonetheless, I still bought it because I was mad that I lost all my vintage blouses. This was the very first time I felt a heartache shopping. Of course the quality of the blouses here are MUCH BETTER, but still......

I don't regret buying those vintage blouses from The Editor's Market. The prints are all very unique and in limited pieces! I will post pictures of them on my Instagram ( @theunpsokenmelodies ) next time when I wear them!

From this lost baggage incident, I did learn lessons from it. It was our fault for not taking care of our baggage. The next time I go to Bangkok, I will hold to my baggage so tightly and never let them go. I never want to feel the pain of losing new clothes EVER AGAIN even though they are so cheap. The hard work and hours of shopping are wasted if they really all went missing....

I could have taken care of that baggage if it wasn't for my excruciating tummy ache! I spent the whole of last morning at Bangkok in the toilet, when we were supposed to be shopping! I never had that kind of tummy ache before, the pain was so great my face turned pale and I almost fainted. I thought I was going to spend the last moment in Bangkok at the hospital. Thankfully I didn't! I think losing my baggage is MUCH BETTER than staying in the hospital!

I do want to blog about my Bangkok trip but I don't think I will do it today because I have to refresh my memories in Bangkok. It was a really fun trip despite the ups and downs! And I will definitely will be coming back for MORE SHOPPING!!!

Xoxo,
CHERYL!

My random thoughts for the new year

Time passes so fast and I can't believe it is already 2014. 2013 has been a rough year for me but I am thankful for the lessons I learnt from 2013. I feel blessed to be able to close this year by spilling my bottled up feelings to somebody. This is probably the best way to end the year so that on you can start the new year with a positive attitude and leave behind the past. I have never felt so alone this year. I realized all this time that I was bottling up my feelings did more harm than good. I thought nobody would ever understand me because I believed nobody was going through the struggles that I was going through. I was wrong, I was the one pushing everyone away. I thought it would be better for me and the people around me, so that I wouldn't be a burden to anyone. In the end, the only person I was hurting was myself. None of my friends could see the hurt through my eyes. I did not want them to anyway but deep in my heart, I was hoping someone, or anybody to look into my eyes and say ' you are not okay '. All of the things I wanted which I could easily just  buy, I wanted a true friend so much, and that is someone you cannot buy. A true friend who understands me and is willing to listen to me, and not just ditch me when they find another friend. I have so many friends like that and I keep wondering to myself what have I done wrong to lose a friend. Up to now, I still don't have the answer. It really hurts when I treat my friends like my true friends and they don't. I tell them most of my troubles but they don't. Do they not trust me? I have a friend who everyone thinks I am very close to. In actual fact, after 3 or 4 lines of our conversation, there will be awkward silence. Close friends aren't like that. We should be comfortable speaking about anything. There is just this invisible obstacle that I cannot break through between us, I tried and tried but I just couldn't. So I guess I should just let her go. I hope that in 2014, when I start schooling, I can find at least one true friend that I can comfortably speak with. But I am glad that my cousin is by my side these few days just before the start of a new year. We haven't really spoken for years since our childhood days. We had our problems so we kept our distance. I think timing is key when it comes to finding a true friend, or in this case, cousin. We talked so much these past few days, I even stayed till 4am just to catch up with him. That was when I realized that we had so much in common, and that somebody out there actually cares about me and understands my struggles. When we hang out yesterday on New Year's eve, we literally did not stop talking at all the whole time. Our conversation just keeps continuing and I don't even get tired talking to him. I even forgot that my leg was hurting from walking so much. I just wanted to talk, that made me extremely happy. I must say it was one of my happiest day ever, just talking and shopping.  

All I want to say is, if you ever feel alone, always remember that you are not alone. There will be somebody out there who truly cares about you, that somebody if doesn't appear today, will appear someday. I hope 2014 will be an awesome year for everybody or at least better than 2013! Good luck! :)

Xoxo,

Cheryl